Las Vegas Spas

Qua is Overrated, but a Nice Themed Spa. Being a non-affluent twenty-something, it's not everyday I visit a spa, let alone an overpriced one in Vegas. On a recent trip to meet up with my mother and video-poker addict grandmother (who lives in the city that actually never sleeps), I was treated to such a visit. After reading all the reviews on Yelp, I eventually decided on Qua.

While my mother and I are not spa virgins, we're certainly not, well, spa sluts. We planned on getting our pricey massages and spending an hour or so in the rest of the spa and then leaving to proceed on with the rest of our day. That was the worst idea ever.

If I were just reviewing the spa itself and not the massages, I'd probably have to give this place at least four stars. I wasn't overly impressed with the ambiance (from what I read on Yelp, I expected something far more extravagant) but nonetheless the spa design was an extra treat. I especially loved the hot stone chairs in the Roman Baths room. These chairs, made entirely from stone, had a check-mark kind of shape, which was surprisingly comfortable to sit in. In my short visit to the chairs, I was concerned my jealousy was tainting the room as I watched other bikini-clad women lounge around with their favorite book, obviously not in a rush to re-clothe and meet grandma for lunch.

The bathhouse area, other than the chairs, was alright. They had three different pools - which I like to call "why isn't this hot enough?," "ouch, f&%k, that's hot," and "this is so cold I can't believe I'm paying this much to freeze my a** off." I suppose that's typical for a spa. There was also a nice shower-esque waterfall in the middle of the room which my mother enjoyed greatly as it hit all the spots in her back that her masseuse missed. I especially liked the "robe sauna" which was basically a heated closet outside of the baths, where you could hang up your robe and get it all warm and cozy when you finally decide to skip on to your next destination.

The rest of the spa was split up into...

Jacuzzi Area -- a big round hot tub with better back jets than the tubs in the Roman Bath room, but otherwise kind of boring.

Cedar Sauna -- Always a treat, this sauna wasn't anything special, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Aromatherapy Steam Room -- again, this type of steam room can probably be found anywhere, but of the entire spa visit, I'd say the steam room helped me relax and de-stressed me the most. It was nice that they had a shower in the steam room to turn on in case you were too hot (though I never got to that point.) Since it's Vegas, most of the women lounging around butt naked are, of course, perfect looking. So I felt fat, but less weirded out by the nudity than I felt when I was in Hungary at the bathhouses where women the size of Chris Farley (RIP) allow their blubber to redesign any given room's free cubic area.

Arctic Ice Room -- Aw, cute, snow bubbles. Since some idiot figured out that being really freaking cold is good for us, it's nice that the freaking cold room has some sort of entertainment (snow bubbles) to help pass time while our circulation, um, learns how to circulate better.

Tea Room - Ok, this really tripped me up. I LOVE tea. I was SO excited that there were all of these interesting tea options to try. During my tour of the spa, the attendant pointed to the room and said that all of the teas on the back wall were complimentary. Sweet. After my massage I headed straight to the tea room, only to stare at enticing menu and an assortment of decorative loose tea leaves. Since I'm used to tea bags, I wasn't sure how on earth I would actually go about making the tea - especially since tea cups were MIA. So i go to the attendant desk and, mildly embarrassed, ask them if I'm an idiot or if it's normal that I'm not sure how to make my own tea. They inform me that I'm not supposed to make my own tea, and that a tea attendant will be right with me. So I go back to the room and sit down in a chair. About ten minutes later, a woman comes in and finally asks me if I want some tea. She offers a good suggestion, but seems rushed and I almost feel bad asking her to make me tea, since it looks like her job also includes restocking all of the fruit and such, which she continues to do at a hectic pace. I finally get my tea - a delicious minty brew called "velvet tea," and drink it with such fervor it's gone in a few minutes. I'd like more, or at least to be offered a refill, but the tea attendant is no where to be seen.

Massage/ Massage Rooms: Eh. I had a $140 classic massage and my mother had a $170 hot stone massage. We both finished up our massages underwhelmed. Maybe my error was not splurging $10 more for the deep tissue massage, since my massage was a pleasant rub-down, but it did little for my muscles. Meanwhile, my mother thought her $60 regular Jersey massages were better.

Showers: I want one of these showers. Four shower heads with water coming from all directions. Heaven.